The Art of Not Knowing

Safe to say it has been a while.

I've been enjoying the highs and lows of life lol.

I have no idea what has inspired this post but here I am.

Its crazy how I started this blog when I was 15 and now I'm 21 and in my penultimate year of university.

Being in my final year puts a lot of pressure on "knowing" what the next stages of my life will be I AM NOT READY.

Like I'm ready to finally leave the education system but I am not ready to walk into adult life :'(

I have barely accepted my age (I was asked how old I was by a shopkeeper today and by default I said "18". I AM 21 YEARS OF AGE)

I digress, in terms of adulting, I take pleasure in not knowing so much that it has actually become my gospel.

I don't know where I am going and I don't want to

But I find in life as an adult that there is so much pressure to 'know' and I hate that

Idk, to me, knowing my next steps forsakes any type of unpredictability. Which may be good for some who desire structure, but for me? Ew

Life is chaos and I thrive in it

I have been labouring under the assumption that things just work themselves out, I have been through so many periods of confusion and no doubt I'll go through more but for right now I want to use what I am writing as therapy and proudly declare:

I do not know where I am going, where life will take me, what I want to do with my future or who I want to be with.

All I truly 'know' is that I want to be happy, healthy, fulfilled and yet also challenged.

Apologies if this post seemed like one of those posts that was horrendously generic trying to disguise itself as deep and thought-provoking.

I am currently just trying to survive heaps of university work and impending graduation.

Pray for my soul.

If you're reading this, I hope you're doing well x

Comments

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