A Partial Return

Hi, I'm back.

Sorta.

I have so much to tell those who are reading this.

Probably no one and that's completely okay.

A lot has changed.

I'm currently in a stable place.

I go to university where I'm studying history, I have amazing friends that I've made (which was a big worry of mine), I'm in the process of getting a blogging job (I think) and I have my dream car.

So essentially, everything's been cool.

I hate how I've neglected my blog which is something I was so passionate about. I'm still passionate about writing which is why I applied to a blogging job so I feel its fitting that if I'm writing for another blog, I should also return to my own.

So I just wanted to come and say hi.

Actually there's another little thing I wanted to talk about.

I'm sure I've cried on here at some point at finding love and how its something I really want.

...still struggling to find it because the universe decided I didn't need it .-. 

But here's a little tale that recently had me in a rut (literally yesterday)

I met someone.

And for the first time in a long while, I had hope.

Genuine hope.

Like I'm normally optimistic (-ish) but in the past I was in a place where my self-love was so depleted that I could only imagine being with the people I crushed on, not think about it as an actual possibility because I'd think 'I'm okay but they'd never want someone like me'. So flash forward to now where I met this amazing person and I thought 'okay cool, the universe sent me a gift, a chance'; because we got along well and the chemistry seemed to be there.

...yeah nah he has a girlfriend.

I 

was 

a 

mess 

Like literally, after this discovery I locked myself in from the outside world, self-pitying and confused as I went over the five stages of grief ten times over.

There's no point or moral to this story I'm telling, I just thought if I wrote about it then somehow the grief in my chest would subside a little.

And it has, I guess?

I'm still confused with the whole situation and how to deal with it but yeah.

(If anyone has advice, PLEASE LEAVE IT I AM STRUGGLING)

Besides that, everything has been okay, I'm 19 now which is huge.

Not really kept up to date with the whole google plus thing but if I'm correct, google plus kinda dissolved? 

I remember getting the email about it and being like ????

Okay yeah, I feel like I should end here, I've ran out of things to say.

I love you all

Bye.

L x