Skip to main content

MY PERSONAL STRUGGLE

Hello people of earth!

Currently as I am typing this it is Monday so if its not Monday when I've released this post I was probably working on it for days.

Now normally I don't talk about super serious things because I prefer to angle away from serious topics but for today I decided to talk about my personal struggles since this is a personal styled blog.

As a teenager I obviously have many, many problems and issues, maybe that's a part of growing up or whatever but one struggle I have in particular is a common one: Weight problems.
For a long, long time I've struggled with losing weight, having a slow metabolism etc. I never really realised how fat I was getting until a saw a picture of me on the beach in a bikini and my stomach was droopy and massive and I was in shock. I never realised that eating chips everyday was starting to affect my health and my appearance and it was sad so I immediately looked for ways to lose weight, I downloaded every fitness and food checker app there was. I weighed myself everyday but I kept seeing the same number no matter how hard I was trying. For a 13 year old girl 2 years ago I weighed 168 pounds (12 stone) and I was so disappointed in myself. I blame my metabolism mainly, its extremely slow and I eventually realised that so I researched ways to speed it up and I got the same result every time: Green tea. So I drank about 2 cups every day with no sugar and I began to work out and attempt to drink 8 glasses of water. However my family are quite fond of fatty foods so when I became hungry I broke my diet by eating cookies and sweets. It was really confusing because I felt like there was nothing to help me with my diet and I didn't want to talk about it with my mum because I didn't want to worry her that I had low self esteem and I didn't want her to think I was developing body dysmorphia or an eating disorder so I kept it to myself.

Sometimes when I was with my cousin who has a great body after just having a kid, my family would point out how greedy I was becoming so it gave me motivation to leave crisps and chocolate etc. and start eating more salads and such, the problem was at school I never ate during lunch times so I would become hungry and then when I got home I would literally eat everything to make up for hunger during school and this was stopping my weight loss so I tried to bring healthy sandwiches and stuff, this worked but even now I do having huge sugar cravings from time to time, its like, when I want sugar I'm aware I shouldn't have it but somehow I convince myself that a few bites wont hurt.
 
I've researched every weight loss pill or diet tea but from what the information says they generally do more harm than good so I'm trying to stick to the natural method, flashforward 2 years ahead I still struggle with my weight and fitting in certain clothes (I'm size 8) I'm not saying looks are everything but for me, I have to look in the mirror about 6 times before I leave and convince myself "I don't look big in this" but I've successfully lost 42 pounds (3 stone) in 2 years but I'm still going, right now I'm not "fat" per say, my bmi does state "healthy weight" but even then I'm not completely satisfied, I have a massive amount of weight on my thighs and my stomach is not yet fully toned but this summer I am planning on working on going jogging and eating healthier because at the moment my 'pizza Saturdays' are not contributing towards further weight loss, my ideal weight would be 8 stone, not to bad if I do say so myself, Only one more stone and a whole lot of squats and starjumps to go!
 
If you made it to the end of the post, thanks for reading, I know its super serious but i'll upload a more light-hearted blog post in the near future.
Bye-bye!x
 

Comments

  1. Thank you for saying this, I'm really sorry you're going through that! I really feel for you, I have struggled with weight, too. Have you considered contacting a doctor? It may be your thyroid or pituitary gland. That's why I struggled with weight. In any case, I hope you get to a point where you feel comfortable in your own skin. I haven't ever seen you, but I still think you're awesome no matter what you weigh! =D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the comment I was unsure on how people would react to something more serious like this and I've never really thought about contacting a doctor I think its based on my love of sugary food probably nothing super serious I'm only 15! :)

      Delete

Post a Comment

I love your comments, feel free to leave one xo

Popular posts from this blog

My Thoughts On Going Back To School

So I was inspired by a girl named Izzy to talk about my thoughts on going back to school and I thought it was a great idea! I personally have an extremely strong opinion on school so when I talk about it I speak with 0 filter. I hate school with a fiery passion. (See, I do not sugar coat my hatred) I hate the teachers. I hate the homework. I hate the learning. And I sure as hell hate the horrendous uniform. Seeing my friends is the only thing that convinces me to get up at 6:45 every morning and attend. ..Well that and the occasional bake sales.. Luckily enough I live in the Uk so I don't start school till September the 4th (On a Thursday) But I have so many assignments I haven't completed yet. I even have a Food Technology assignment where I have to bake 5 things and take a picture of them and send them to my teacher. Yeah.. like that's happening I'll probably just steal some from a cooking website. ..Wow I'm just the perfect

Why I'm Envious Of Americans

So as some of you may know, I went back to school.. -.- I absolutely hate it and I've only been back for 2 days *sigh* Since this is a pretty important year I'll probably have to stick to posting once a week by completing posts and uploading them on the weekend.  Although whenever I get holidays I will vow to post as much as I can without getting annoying. Now in case you're wondering: Why not complete multiple posts on the weekends and save them as drafts? I wanted to but I realised its better to wait a few days so fresh ideas can come out then type loads of boring rambly ideas in an hour. Hope you understand where I'm coming from :) Anyways lets get onto what I'm supposed to be talking about shall we? At first I was going to talk about answers to questions people have for British people since I'm British but instead I thought It would be better to talk about my envy for Americans Trust me, this is not as serious/evil as it sou

So My Prom Is Next Year...

So recently I done a collab with Caroline Reinhart and we both talked about Prom, you can check out my post here: http://www.emojicorn.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/guest-post-my-first-prom-experience-by.html The thing is, I happily made that post knowing I would not have prom for at least another 2 years. Yeah.. my prom is in 8 months. 8 Months You may be wondering, prom is fun, what's bad about that? Back in primary school it would've been fun but not now, definitely not. I'm not sure why I feel this way but I just really don't want a prom, the stress of trying to look good with probably land me in hospital and my school severely lacks the 'Troy And Gabriella Romance' it so desperately needs. I mean seriously there's more romance between me and my phone than there is in the school, and that's saying something. I'm probably just going to buy a cheap dress from Primark, literally no one cares what you look like and I re