Lockdown Diaries : The Mind of a Random Uni Student

I am truly ashamed I let this blog die.

Well technically, google plus ceasing to exist did.

But I have neglected this wholesome thing I had going on and in the off chance anyone is reading this... hi? 

It's been a tumultuous year, truly. For some reason, after reading a bit of 'Love in Colour' by Bolu Babalola, I've been very inspired to write again. Well, I wouldn't count the garbage I type 'writing' but it's something lolol.

If anyone has wanted some insight into the current mind of a British university student, here's the chance!

So where do I begin, maybe with where my heads at?

It's been so upsetting to see how many are struggling mentally with this lockdown, it is tough it truly is and I guess for me, my minds been up and down.

Like some days I'm fine, I'm happy to just sit, listen to music, do university work, watch netflix, talk to my friends and end the day with reading or twitter. But somewhere deep down I have this small gnawing feeling of stagnancy. (Does this even make sense? Not sure but I shall elaborate below)

I struggle with being in a position where I can't grow, make connections and talk to people in real time you know?

This probably sounds so first world problem-y but I want to be transparent in my feelings. I feel very stuck but that's okay because lockdown means we're keeping everyone around us safe.

I think that has been the main mental concern, other than that I've been doing well to keep my general anxiety at bay which is good (I thank water, exercise and my amazing friends and family)

I'm currently trying to be healthier and exercise more because I checked my bank statements and the amounts I've been spending on takeaway is horrifying. (Like I could literally pay off my car insurance with the amounts I've been spending on Deliveroo, Ubereats and Justeat) 

As well as that, as a whole I've been trying to keep my perspective positive in this crappy situation, lockdown is tragic and the university responses haven't been the best from what I've seen on the news but my thinking is at, eventually normalcy will come back (I pray) and in the meantime, I can use this time to focus on assignments, do some introspection and maybe learn something new? Like, learning how to do cardio for more than 10 minutes without losing consciousness would be excellent.

Literally, I have to stay busy, I can't be alone with my thoughts or think too deeply into this pandemic, my thoughts are hellish. Trying not to daydream of the past or future and stay in the present moment has been extremely challenging, I find peace in music and journaling as a way to not drop down the worm hole.

Okay yeah I'm gonna go back to reading love stories and crying about it whilst listening to disney songs now.

I'm not expecting anyone to come across this post but if you're like, a website that needs a student writer, this is me shooting my shot ;)

I cannot promise the writing will be A-star quality but at least it will be honest and slightly humourish? 👀 Plus I'm a real life university student, I have so much relatability to share. 

Anyways...

I'm praying for better times and my condolences to anyone that has lost someone such as a family member, a friend or a colleague to this horrible virus. 

- Liyah x